Sense of humor

Recently I went to the doctor for my annual physical.
The nurse asked me how much I weighed. I told her 135 pounds. Then she weighed me and the scale said 160.
She asked me how tall I was. I said, "5 feet, 5 inches." She measured me and I was only 5 feet, 3 inches.
So she took my blood pressure and told me it was high.
"Of course it's high," I said. "When I came in here I was tall and slender. Now I'm short and fat!"


I was sitting in the waiting room of my new dentist. It was my first appointment. I noticed his diploma on the wall, which had his full name.
Suddenly, I recalled a tall, dark haired, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class nearly 50 years ago. Could this be the same boy I had a secret crush on, way back then?
When I saw him, however, I quickly discarded that thought. This gray haired, balding man with the deeply wrinkled face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm! Or could he?
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Northampton High School.
"Yes, I did!" he said. "I'm a Konkrete Kid." He gleamed with pride.
"What year did you graduate?" I asked.
"In 1959," he said. "Why do you ask?"
"I was in your class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, wrinkled, old, fat, bald, gray, decrepit SOB asked, "What did you teach?"



"At my age flowers scare me".
George Burns

Barbara, 84 and Spencer, 25 in a beautiful acrobatic dance routine